Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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