none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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