East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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