That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
