It's Friday. Sex?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
