Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ttyl tear gas
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
