He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
