ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
