Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
