You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
