am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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