My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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