Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
