you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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