hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
