We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
