wakey wakey hands off snakey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
