She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize