I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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