did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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