): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
