In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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