the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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