woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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