Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
