I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
