i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
