Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
