Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
