I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
