erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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