i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
