What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
