FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
