my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
