i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
