we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize