nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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