Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize