i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
