You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Terrible idea I love it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
