You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
