New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
