I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
