Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
vagina is talking i cant
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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