He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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