Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
