so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
