they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
