Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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