So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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