so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
