That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
