i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My vagina is officially offended.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
