but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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