I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
