the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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