we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
